We have quite a few new people at Tribe and our first social gathering (outside) this week. And it feels good. But it is different then it used to be so in some ways I feel like we are starting over but I guess that is change. So how do we embrace change that builds resilience? When change makes us better, it’s because we have learned how to turn a challenging situation to our own advantage, not merely because change happens.
BBC’s, The Collection, Why embracing change is the key to a good life, writes;
How we handle change is the essence of our existence and the key to happiness, particularly in our current times of uncertainty. Since humankind has existed, many great artists, writers and philosophers have grappled with the notion of change, and our impulse to resist it. “Something in us wishes to remain a child… to reject everything strange,” wrote the 20th-Century psychologist and author Carl Jung in The Stages of Life. For these thinkers, a refusal to embrace change as a necessary and normal part of life will lead to problems, pain and disappointment. If we accept that everything is constantly changing and fleeting, they say, things run altogether more smoothly.
We all know cognitively that change is nothing new and inevitable. Yet, by nature, change feels unfamiliar so we often try to resist or desperately try and make sense of it. Pain is often the agent of change, which is why we fear it. It is hard to see beyond the pain to the opportunity of anew – but that is the only good choice. The alternative is resisting change, a futile and ultimately more painful option. Not to mention missing all of the opportunities for growth. Change takes practice and the more you accept it, the better you get at it. So in theory, we should all be a bit more practiced right about now.
“All that you touch you Change. All that you Change changes you. The only lasting truth is Change.” – Octavia E Butler
Today we had our first social gathering since before the first lockdown. It was so nice. Everyone missed that community feel of our coworking space. In some ways we felt more united, all having experienced our own disconnection and struggles over the past 17 months. I would like to think that a show of solidarity and support in different communities has emerged; perhaps even a broader sense of equality and empathy. Now is the time to reflect and find the opportunities from change. Let’s not go back to being disconnected, isolated and self interested. I am hopeful that we can find a deeper understanding of our humanity, discover new priorities and be driven by our values in order to change and heal. Remember that change isn’t always out with our control.
Focus on your values instead of your fears. Reminding ourselves of what’s important to us — family, friends, great music, creative expression, and so on — can create a surprisingly powerful buffer against unexpected change.
Social lunch helps too.
If you want to see more or less of something, take action, make the changes you want to see. In our behaviour, we tend to be making an implicit distinction between getting other people to change – and changing ourselves. We often think more about how to change others or complain about others rather than making the changes ourselves. Sometimes because we don’t give ourselves permission and sometimes, well, because it’s easier to point than do the inner work. We might know we may have to develop in certain ways, but for now, our focus is on altering others. However, we miss an important insight: changing how you behave to others can be the fastest way to alter how others behave towards you.
Here is a brilliant video by School of Life which illustrates how and why you should be the change you want to see and how mirroring is the best way to change yourself and others.
Would love to hear your thoughts if you want to share, email me.