Honoring Your Boundaries
Hello, Boundaries
The demands placed on us (by ourselves and others) can feel overwhelming. By not honoring your boundaries, you risk burnout, stress, and the downfall of our own identity.
Whether you’re working from home, juggling responsibilities, or navigating the blurred lines of hybrid work, setting intentional boundaries is essential for your emotional and physical wellbeing.
“Setting boundaries with others is key in having a strong relationship with yourself.”
– Philippa Perry, The Book You want everyone you love to read
Understanding Boundaries
The Cambridge Dictionary defines a boundary as “a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something.” Boundaries can be physical, psychological, or emotional.
“If we don’t know where we begin (physically, psychologically and metaphorically), how can we possibly know how to protect our ‘space’ and avoid unwanted encroachment into our territory?” – Dr Jane Booth
But why do we struggle to verbalise our work and personal boundaries, especially when they’re crossed?
Questioning your boundaries
To honour your boundaries you must first understand what they are. Boundaries are multilayered and often shifting, making it important to regularly reflect on the different types and how well we honor each in our lives. Emotional boundaries involve respecting your own feelings and emotional energy. Such as expressing how you’d like to receive feedback, protecting your energy in emotionally draining situations, and resisting the urge to absorb others’ moods.
Physical boundaries relate to your personal space, comfort with touch, and physical needs. This might look like preferring a handshake over a hug, skipping social events to recharge, or taking a walk when you need a break.
Mental boundaries protect your thoughts and focus, and include actions like taking time off to recover, setting away messages during deep work, and avoiding the pressure to over-explain your decisions.
Finally, time boundaries help you value and protect how your time is spent. By declining unnecessary meetings, sticking to your work hours, and clearly communicating when your capacity has been reached. Understanding and maintaining these boundaries is key to safeguarding your well-being and sustaining healthy relationships.
Tuning In: A Boundary Check-In
When was the last time you checked in with how you honour your boundaries? 
Try this:
- Rate yourself on each boundary type: Emotional, physical, mental and time (1–5 scale)
- Identify where you feel the most tension or fatigue
- Notice what your body tells you
Boundaries are flexible. They will look different depending on the relationship, context, or stage of life. What’s non-negotiable today might shift next year, or even next week and that’s okay.
Fill in the wheel, which are ranked lowest? Why is this, it could be a specific situation or simply how your energy is presenting at this time. Question what actions you could take to bring the score up. This could be as simple as cancelling a plan to free up some mental space or opening up a conversation with someone you have had a miscommunication or disagreement with.
Boundaries as a Form of Care
By understanding and respecting our own boundaries, we create environments where we feel safe, seen and respected. It’s fundamental to check in with this every so often. Our boundaries will change for different people, and they may shift over time based on personal circumstances.
Through open communication with ourselves and identifying where we lack in our own boundaries we can in turn honour our limits. In doing so, you can take better care of the core of your wellbeing and infuse more meaning and authenticity into our work and relationships.
Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges toward healthier and a stronger connection to yourself.
Tribe Talks
If you would like to learn more about holding space for yourself and your boundaries our next Tribe Talk is for you. We will be joined by Dr Jane Booth. Jane has a passion for people and a creatively curious mind. She loves learning, problem solving and supporting her clients with their own development and growth. Jane can aid in providing the space and time you need to explore solutions and work out the choices ahead of you. Our Tribe Talk will cover the art of creating effective boundaries.
“I fundamentally believe that great people make amazing things happen. We often lose sight of our potential, however, and this can hold us back from achieving what we really want. My role is to help you find your path so you can lead yourself, and others, on your chosen journey.”– Dr Jane Booth
Thanks for reading,
Alice
As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty? Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with all things Tribe.
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Meet Sonny & Beverley
You may have noticed two new faces at Tribe Porty’s reception desk recently. Over the past month, we’ve welcomed two wonderful additions to your Tribe Porty Team: Sonny, our new Community Support Assistant, and Beverley, our Operations Assistant.
We’re thrilled to officially introduce them and let them share a bit about themselves in their own words.
Meet Sonny – Community Support Assistant
Hiya! I’m Sonny!
I first came across Tribe Porty when my partner came home raving about a brilliant wee place he’d visited while working with Porty Community Energy—he said it was very up my street. A quick Instagram search later, I realised it was the same place where my old yoga client and pal Ellie was working! From the moment I learned about Tribe Porty, I knew it was somewhere I wanted to be involved with—whether that meant applying to join the team (I checked for vacancies more often than I care to admit!) or eventually becoming a co-worker.
It doesn’t take much to make me smile—whether it’s a warm cup of coffee, the sunlight hitting the trees just right, a cuddle with a dog, or spotting someone reading my favourite book. Smiling is just part of who I am. What I love most about Tribe so far is the warmth and life that fills the space. I’m a firm believer that buildings have souls, and you can really feel the soul of Tribe the moment you walk in. And then there are the people (and furry friends)—everyone is incredibly welcoming, which only adds to the warmth of the place.
My Working Life (Alongside Tribe!)
My working life has been delightfully varied, mostly because I’ve been a student up until this past year. I’ve hosted birthday parties at a bowling alley, worked as an admin assistant in San Francisco, slung coffee and doughnuts at Kilted Donut in Leith, played the role of shop witch at Edinburgh’s Black Moon Botanica, and chatted all things contemporary art as a Front of House Assistant at the Talbot Rice Gallery.
For the last five years, I’ve been working on my PhD in History of Art at the University of Edinburgh. My thesis explored the visual culture of a second-wave feminist magazine called Spare Rib. While finishing my degree, I served as Chair of a Doctoral and Early Career Research Committee—organising events, symposiums, and workshops. This past year, I was an Associate Lecturer at Newcastle University, where I supervised 20 undergraduate Fine Art dissertations—an absolute joy! I’m now working on publishing parts of my thesis and figuring out where my research adventures will take me next.
In addition to academia, I’m also a freelance yoga teacher! I teach at Tribe Yoga (mostly in Leith), Yoga’s Got Hot in Stockbridge, and David Lloyd in Newhaven. I’m hoping to bring some meditation sessions to Tribe Porty in the near future—so keep your eyes (and ears) peeled!
Community is the BEST
Since moving to Scotland, one of the things that’s grounded me the most has been the sense of community I’ve found in different places and spaces. Community not only gives us a sense of belonging, but helps us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. Through various communities I’ve been part of, I’ve met some of my best friends, role models—and even my partner! I’ve built lifelong relationships that are deeply real and meaningful.
What truly drew me to Tribe was its focus on and dedication to building community. As adults, it can be so hard to meet new people—and even harder in this digital age and WFH culture. Coworking spaces like Tribe go far beyond just meeting people as colleagues or deskmates. They offer opportunities for real connection that move past the surface-level nature of traditional office culture—helping to build friendships, foster collaboration, and nurture a thriving, welcoming community.
“The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.” -Bell Hooks
Meet Beverley – Operations Assistant
Hello, I’m Beverley!
I first came across Tribe Porty when I became a part-time home worker – about eight years ago. I wasn’t missing the commute towork (two hours stuck on the Edinburgh by-pass twice a day anyone?) but I also didn’t find sitting in the kitchen – with the leaning tower of ironing winking at me from the corner – all that inspiring. I spotted Tribe Porty and loved the creative space and community feel. However it was not to be. But I did keep an eye on the events and activities that popped up on my social feeds and always felt it ‘was my kind of place’.
Fast forward to April this year, and after over 30 years working flat out running fast-paced brand and communications teams and a stint as Operations Manager helping establish a new Trust, I had the chance to step back and think about what was next for me.
Home & Work Life
I’m officially what’s known as an empty nester – no more ‘what’s for dinner, can you pick me up at 2am I’ve missed the last bus or have you washed my favourite top I’m going out in five minutes’. Both children are now either working or at University and weirdly more than capable of working a washing machine (who knew it was that simple). I’d also had my fill of board meetings, all staff away days and strategy sprints. I wanted to spend some time re kindling my love of all things creative whilst finding my tribe – people who care about connections, creative thinking and doing things because they are the right thing to do not just because someone wrote it in a ten year business plan in a world before COVID threw everything up in the air.
I feel so lucky to finally make it through the doors at Windsor Place and join Dani, Alice and Sonny on the Tribe Porty Team. The role is a part time one – enough to get to know everyone and feel part of the team – but with plenty of free time to flex my creative muscles (they’re not very toned at the moment – a bit like my thighs!).
Something I LOVE
So I’ve recently bought myself a small printing press and turned the attic bedroom into my creative space. Which brings me on to what makes me smile… mixing relief inks, carving out lino for a new linocut print, visiting galleries and talking to experienced printmakers about their amazing work. I’m also happiest in the garden in spring watching the tulip bulbs coming through and sowing climbing beans into little pots loving how fast they break the soil and grow their winding stems.
Finally, my guilty pleasure at the moment is re-watching Mad Men on Netflix which first aired in the UK in 2007. (It feels so much easier to watch now I’m no longer working in advertising!) There’s a quote from Don Draper the main character; ‘ If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.’ It feels so relevant to what’s happening in the world right now.
Say hello!
We’re so excited to have Sonny and Beverley as part of the Tribe Porty family. Be sure to say hello next time you’re in the space—they’re both keen to meet more of our wonderful community! We’ll soon be interviewing them both on our podcast Working For Progress, watch this space!
Thanks for reading,
Your Tribe Porty Team
As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty? Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with all things Tribe.
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More than coworking
Annual Report 24/25
Do you remember the first coworking space you walked into? How many have you tried since? And, most importantly, what makes you stay? Each year, we ask our members a simple yet telling question: Why do you choose Tribe? The answers consistently affirm that we’re achieving our mission as a true community coworking space.
Coworking is about more than shared desks; it’s about connecting people. Personal and professional growth often go hand in hand in coworking spaces, where communities of like-minded individuals come together. When done right, coworking not only fosters collaboration but can also have a profound impact on health and wellbeing. At Tribe Porty, we’re proud to create a space where community thrives, and individuals flourish.
A year in review
2024 has been a great year for Tribe Porty. From receiving the Places for Everyone grant to improve our front yard space to hosting another fun filled summer party. We also relaunched Tribe Talks and kicked off with a series on Sustainability. Tribe Talks welcomed 247 attendees this year—120 more than last year! We’re thrilled to see our efforts making a difference and can’t wait to build on this success. Series 2 launches this February and will focus on women’s health, wealth, and wisdom.
We had 218 day passes booked over the course of 2024. Day passes are an important offering at Tribe Porty as we are not a members only club. We understand that a reccuring membership is not for everyone.
2024 saw us welcome 53 new members, our largest demographic for coworkers remains folks working in the Arts, Culture & Entertainment sector. Across the board, the mix of sectors in our community has stayed pretty consistent, which shows how balanced and diverse Tribe continues to be.
One of the coolest things? Most of you found us through word of mouth! That speaks volumes about the love and belief our members have for what Tribe offers. It’s more than just a workspace—it’s a community worth sharing. And when new faces join because of your recommendations, it keeps our Tribe collaborative, creative, and full of energy.
What’s next?
Each year, we gather valuable feedback from our coworkers to understand their experiences and identify areas for growth. This feedback is used to shape our team meetings. We were already able to action most constructive feedback which includes:
- Updating and enforcing shared policies and common courtesies to foster a harmonious coworking environment.
- In 2025 will plan more creative workshops both during and outside office hours, not only to build our community but nuture the wellbeing of our coworkers.
- Upgrading furniture, ensuring comfort and usability.
- Improving signage for our building and to aid efficient recycling and kitchen cleanliness.
- Installing better lighting in the upstairs coworking space for a more productive and homely atmosphere.
- Community Solar Pannels we are currently liaising with Porty Solar Project to explore the potential for community owned solar panels hosted on our building. These contribute to local funds.
When reviewing the feedback we were overwhelmed by consistent praise for our dedicated team and the social opportunities, which remain highlights of the Tribe Porty experience.
Ten years of Tribe Porty
This year we celebrate 10 years of Tribe Porty. The milestone is about more than time passed—it’s about the friendships formed, ideas launched, and the meaningful work that has happened under this roof.
Tribe aims to provide a space for nurture and growth of human potential through supporting local people in work, art and quality of life. This is done through practical opportunities and support and encouraging connections. There is evidence that people-powered health not only brings transformational change, but also economic benefits.
Over the next year, we will continue to grow and strengthen our community by fostering exciting new collaborations with local businesses. We are also developing online programs focused on providing holistic business support for our members. Alongside these online offerings, we plan to launch new networking events designed to facilitate the exchange of knowledge and resources among our members. Additionally, we will nurture and enhance our connection with our community through our podcast, Working For Progress.
Thank you to everyone who has been part of our story so far. Here’s to the next chapter and all that we will create together!
Read the full Annual Report here
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Discover the joy of coworking
Tribe Porty brings good people together and makes good things happen. This year for European Coworking day we want to shout about our Tribe, celebrate the joy of coworking and invite you to join our Tribe.
Why coworking?
Do you remember the first coworking space you entered? How many coworking spaces have you tried or been a part of? What makes you stay? A question we ask every year to our coworkers is why do you choose Tribe? A simple question, but it always proves that we are achieving our mission as a community coworking space.
Coworking spaces are fantastic at joining communities together. Personal and professional growth is closely linked to coworking. One thing that coworking spaces all have in common is the desire to bring people together and create a community of like-minded people. Furthermore, when spaces are great at doing this, it can have a significant impact on your health and wellbeing.
Surround yourself with good people
Don’t get us wrong, we can’t beat a day in your PJS in the comfort of your own home on a rainy, windy Scottish day. But at times working from home can feel lonely and isolating. Coworking statistics show that 89% of independently employed people feel happier after joining a coworking space and 83% of people feel less lonely.
Not to mention, you’ll be surrounded by the best and most interesting people that you’ve ever met. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve said and thought “what, I had no idea that job existed!”. Studies found that 69% of coworkers say that they have acquired new skills or upgraded their current skills due to the people they have worked alongside in a coworking space. It also gives the opportunity to share and develop your work with a fresh set of eyes and ears.
Boost your productivity
As well as the extra social contact, coworking spaces offer a more productive and focused space to work. The same study found that 84% of people feel more motivated and engaged with their work whilst at a coworking space.
Community is important to the way we work. At the heart of our ethos lies a deep commitment to community values, shaping the environment of our coworking space. Tribe’s design is thoughtfully crafted to foster creativity, promoting the collision of diverse individuals and ideas that spur innovation, knowledge exchange, and meaningful connections.
All of this makes coworking spaces an indispensable environment that allows you to balance work, wellbeing, productivity and socialization. Did we miss anything? Not convinced yet? Here’s what our coworkers have to say about coming to Tribe:
“Tribe feels like such a community and it was a really easy environment to get to know people. The vibes were always good and the added social events (Thursday lunch, coffee mornings etc) actively encouraged people to get to know each other. I’ll be honest, a shared office I went to twice a week was the last place I thought I would make friends when I moved to Edinburgh. Upon leaving I can say that I’ve made some excellent pals! I don’t think there’s a single co-working space out there that could hold a candle to Tribe”
“I’ve worked remote for 7 years and coworking spaces keep me sane – and productive! When we moved to Porty, I ditched my place in town within the week and haven’t looked back. It’s just a lovely place to work. Everyone’s super nice and getting to see loads of different jobs, companies and perspectives is inspiring.”
“I moved up to Portobello from London and was looking for a place to work as my new role is fully remote. I followed Tribe’s instagram page before I moved and heard only great things about Tribe from everyone I met here. I love the people, the working space (especially the garden), the sense of community, the opportunity to chat to people with interesting work and lives while hanging out with the many cute dogs. It is a joy to work here!”
Choose Tribe
Beyond the workspace, we remain deeply connected with our community through various activities such as coffee mornings, social lunches and our monthly free Tribe Talks. At Tribe Porty, community is not just a concept; it’s a lived experience. We look forward to the continued growth and vibrancy of our community.
To our current coworkers, you guys rock and make this place what it is. Thank you for being a part of our Tribe. To those who are yet to visit us, hello! Pop in for a tour and meet our team. You can keep up to date with all of our social events and Tribe Talks by subscribing to our newsletter.
You can view our day pass options and membership packages by clicking here.
We can’t wait to meet you.
Thanks for reading,
Alice
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A warm welcome to Ellie
Exciting news, our team has grown! We are welcoming Ellie to our team and we wanted to take the time to give her a warm welcome and introduction.
Hey, I’m Ellie!
I first came across Tribe when Dani hosted TedxPorty here in 2016 and I volunteered to capture the event. I’d recently moved back to Edinburgh after living in London and it was one of the first community events I was involved with and I loved it. Since then I’ve attended other Tribe events and spent some time co-working. The community at Tribe is so welcoming and inviting that when a role came up it felt serendipitous.
Things that make me smile are a good cup of coffee, spending time with friends and family, hosting Soapbox events, time spent on the beach, dogs in clothes, working at Tribe! I love the community and the environment at Tribe. The way Tribe feels when you come in – everyone is friendly, I really enjoy the art on the walls, it’s a space that breeds belonging and my creativity flows here.
My working life & creative practice
Most of my working life has revolved around connecting with people; as a photographer having the opportunity to meet new people and discover what drives them, what their story is and how they express themselves is what I find endlessly fascinating.
I love, and have spent many seasons, capturing street style at London Fashion Week because I love seeing how people express themselves through personal style. My favourite personal project was one I undertook in 2021 called Love Stories; where I spoke to, and captured, over 100 people about someone, or something, they loved.
I’m currently in the planning stages of my next personal photography project, which I think will revolve around kitchen tables, dinner parties and portraits.
Creating community
My connection to the creative scene led me to CreativeMornings, where I volunteered with the Edinburgh Chapter for a number of years before starting my own event, called Soapbox, last year. We gather on the last Wednesday of every month to blether and meet like minded folk who freelance and are employed in the creative, cultural, tech and digital industries. It’s so lovely to see people come along who are brand new to the creative scene but also have attendees who have been doing it for 20 years. Everyone has something to offer and are there to connect.
Knowing how much being part of a community helped both my personal and professional life was the driving factor in starting Soapbox. Bringing other people together and helping them with their own journey is something that brings me a lot of joy. I’m currently working on the evolution of Soapbox and developing what events, along with our current monthly event, we might host.
I’m really looking forward to hopefully hosting some Soapbox events in collaboration with Tribe, but mostly I’m really happy to be part of Team Tribe and the community that exists here. I really like being part of organisations that are bigger than myself, and that seek to bring community together.
A quote that I love:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”- Brené Brown
Thanks for reading,
Ellie
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Let’s talk about Menopause
“Around one in five women report experiencing health challenges relating to menstruation or menopause. Among the 15% of women who report experiencing health challenges related to menstruation, over 40% say they work through the pain and discomfort.”-Women at Work
If not now, when?
I am 26, I was not educated about menopause at school. I feel as though I was barely educated about periods at school. And here I am now, writing a blog post about menopause, some of you are thinking, ‘little young to be writing this’. But therein lies the problem. And whilst we’re talking directly, men, you should keep reading too. The only information I have been exposed to about menopause is through mainstream media. Even then, it is at most a joke about a character going through the change and experiencing hot flushes and dryness…
By not educating people from a younger age about menopause, it neglects the notion that it even happens. Like it’s make believe or that you will somehow naturally have the resources to hand when the time comes. I remember hitting puberty and my mum panic throwing books my way titled ‘have you started yet?’ and ‘girls only’. The illustrations on the covers would have teen girls whispering between themselves, this only reinforced the stigma of periods needing to be an uncomfortable secret, never to be spoken openly about.
Thankfully (hopefully?), we have come away from this. Which as I grow older I see growing importance in. By gendering menstruation and menopause we only gate-keep vital and important information and care from the LGBTQ+ community. It has taken a long time, and I am still in the process of understanding my ever changing menstrual cycle. Thankfully, I’ve always felt a strong attachment to understanding my body’s natural process and hormone fluctuation. I only started to meet and converse with others that felt this way in my twenties.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that if it has taken 13 years (that’s 156 cycles!) to get to grips with periods, I can only imagine the loss of control one would feel during perimenopause. When we think about menopause, we should think in terms of the time taken to complete the whole process, much like we do with puberty.
“The Change” unfortunately still generally remains a taboo subject, even amongst many women. That’s why we need to talk about it, to your mums, dads, brothers, sisters, children – anyone. And for those dealing with this, or about to, it’s so important to learn about it. Do your research and approach your GP armed with the facts and knowledge.”-Menopause Mandate
Finding yourself in Community.
The most powerful conversations I have had with friends and confidants have sparked from one person saying to the other an honest or uncomfortable truth. No matter the subject, be it partners, periods or mental health, a friend saying I’ve felt that or I’ve experienced that too can completely shift your mindset. You are no longer alone or alienated in your feelings and experiences. It’s in this scary sweet spot that experiences and knowledge can be shared.
This is also why menstrual health should not become a gendered conversation. How can we gain vital support from our partners and loved ones if they also have no clue or understanding over what’s going on? Being in touch with yourself, at all stages of life is a crucial ally to your wellbeing. Even when looking into the future is a scary prospect, understanding your body’s natural processes and forming a connection ultimately influences your comfort and welfare.
“A strong theme coming through from research on this issue is that perimenopausal symptoms ‘can be quite disruptive and distressing, particularly when women do not know why these things are happening to them in the first place’. If their partners do not know either, we have the seeds for an inauthentic challenge to even the most healthy of relationships.” -Richard Hull
When we can’t rely on governments and policies to support and educate us, this is when community and allyship becomes a necessity. With that in mind, we took to our community to ask questions about menopause, here’s what they had to say:
“When I think about menopause I feel old. I know so little about menopause I cannot answer the question of how we can improve workplaces to support those going through the menopause. I feel that education about menopause should happen at an early age, and we need to integrate healthy conversations into popular culture, to all sexes.”
“When I think about menopause I feel unprepared and in denial despite it being inevitable. We need to fully recognise that women’s normal health is very different from mens. In terms of changes that need to be made in the workplace, I have no idea where to start. I am not sure if I would have been open to being taught about menopause when still under the influence of teachers at school. That said, reproductive health education at school (in the 90’s) felt abstract and surface. For fertility and pregnancy there is no end of advice and information backed up from the NHS with information and appointments with health professionals, and even then there are still gaps. I am also not sure medicalising menopause or any aspect of a woman’s reproductive health is empowering. Being able to notice, examine and interpret the clues of one’s own body is probably the best. So how do we teach that? And if so, starting as young as possible is best… a useful tool for both sexes.”
“I have lots of feelings about menopause, but ultimately I am trying to rethink menopause like I tried to rethink birthing. It can be a wonderful thing yet mostly what we see are the horrors, the blood, the screaming women. What about the other side? The euphoria, the baby bliss, the overwhelming feeling of awe and love. So although I’m not there yet, I’m trying to think about the potential new wisdom that comes with menopause. The freedom to have some painless and bloodless months. The change in hormones that lead to changes in your body and mind. I’m not entertaining the old, dried up, wrinkled, useless characters of a postmenopausal woman. We need more awareness and research in the same way impotence is given. There is five times more research into erectile dysfunction, which affects 19% of men, than into premenstrual syndrome, which affects 90% of women. And menopause happens to 50% of the population and 100% of women! We also need more research to combat the Women’s Health Initiative Study confusion over HRT.”
Each month, we offer a free talk open to the public. Our next Tribe Talk will be delivered by Yellow Empress Acupuncture. Hannah will be offering an evening around self-care for perimenopause with holistic perspectives for a healthy transition. To find out more and to book your free space, click here.
As always, we would love to hear your thoughts, keep in touch by signing up to our newsletter below! You can find our previous blog posts by clicking here.
Thanks for reading,
Alice.
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The Next Step
All you need to know is the next step
There is information for you if you are attuned to listening to it. You might not know where you want to go and that is okay. Let go of where you think you should be and just figure out the next step.
Instead of trying to figure the big moves, just think what is the next thing you need to do?
Where your attention goes, your life goes. A slightly different take on James Redfield’s quote, ‘Where Attention goes Energy flows; Where Intention goes Energy flows’. Nonetheless, putting your attention in the right place (you) is an important part in being well in this world and with others. Looking in does have its challenges and cultivating healthy strategies for introspection and growth are key.
If your work or creative practice requires extensive amounts of working solo or navigating decisions on your own, it can be all too easy to get stuck in your own head. Madeleine Dore from Extraordinary Routines also reminds us that rest is also a choice,
“IT’S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK INSTEAD OF A STEP. Sometimes, it can be beneficial to take no steps at all.”
One way to help you take the next step can be through writing. From to do lists, blogs and books; writing helps make sense of things.
Write It Down
Here are my top 10 reasons you should write.
- Writing is an Essential Communication Skill- If you don’t write, you probably find it more difficult to communicate verbally.
- Helps You Think Through Problems- And you can do this alone and anytime.
- You’re More Likely to Achieve Written Goals- According to research from the Dominican University in California, “You are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.”
- Journaling Benefits Mental Health- you can create a ritual around this time for yourself.
- Supports accountability- Writing your goals down not only forces you to get clear on what, exactly, it is that you want to accomplish, but doing so plays a part in motivating you to complete the tasks necessary for your success.
- Gets Your To-Do List Out of Your Head- A good first step to actually getting things done.
- Writing Can Help Form Bonds with Others
- Writing Makes You a Better Reader
- Writing is Fun- Writing can be fun in lots of different ways: thinking of the right way to phrase a sentence, for example, or coming up with a clever metaphor.
- No One Else Can Write Like You
Looking In, Looking Out and Looking Up
A regular writing practice has helped me to distil and crystallise my thoughts on many topics. I have been able to find a voice that represents my values and putting it out there no longer scares me. After all, you can choose to read it or not and sharing becomes less of a big deal the more you do it. Writing helps me to look in while looking out. In many ways the work of looking inward supports how I show up in all areas of my life. How can I remain open, willing and attuned? I repeat this question often when navigating my own healing and looking after my businesses. There is something inside of me that always knows the truth when I take the time to listen in and work through the uncomfortable unknowing. When the world feels exactly right where it needs to be, I know I have tapped into my truth.
“If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition… you are not understanding yourself.”
– Bruce Lee
And for looking up, by definition it means to become better. I am always up for that, plus the view is always great when you do.
As always, I love to hear your thoughts, please get in touch. You can also sign up to our newsletter below.
Dani
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Finding flow in 2022
Wait, what year is it?
I think we are all feeling the strangeness of 2021. I accidentally wrote an email out to everyone at Tribe saying we should say good bye to 2020. Many of us are saying last year doesn’t count, but it does. And most likely in ways we don’t yet understand.
We have somewhat transitioned out of the high alert state and into life with normalised constant threat and high potential of change. Life with both feelings of normalised loss and at the same time, new levels of appreciation of things that used to be taken for granted. The constant stress of playing out the worst case scenarios is exhausting. With burnout hovering over or perhaps already landed for you, this year has been full and dull.
According to Adam Grant,
“We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing. Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.
Psychologists find that one of the best strategies for managing emotions is to name them. Last spring, during the acute anguish of the pandemic, the most viral post in the history of Harvard Business Reviewwas an article describing our collective discomfort as grief. Along with the loss of loved ones, we were mourning the loss of normalcy.”
Simultaneously, I have had countless conversations with people expressing how they have found new levels of awareness and a better pace for life since Covid. Usually that is quickly followed up with how bad they feel about saying that when they know many people have suffered so greatly. I have caught myself saying that too. I liken this to hitting rock bottom and the perspective that gives you- the only way is up.
What can we do about it? What to seek in 2022.
I purpose going against the cultural norm of numbing and leaning into meaningful acts. Adam describes this as flow- that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away. Grant goes on to site a study of flow;
“During the early days of the pandemic, the best predictor of well-being wasn’t optimism or mindfulness — it was flow. People who became more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintained their prepandemic happiness.”
Finding flow is becoming increasingly more challenging. We have a million things pulling at our attention all of the time. It takes a huge amount of discipline to stay focused. But a distracted mind is the enemy of flow.
I have noticed that when I am feeling a bit low, I check my emails more often and I scroll through my social channels in a mindless way. Now when I catch myself in this state, I take a moment to try and think about what is really bothering me. Sometimes it is easy to figure out, sometimes, all I can do is change my habits. I notice that behaviour now and stop. I find something more focused to do- even if that thing is to sit and do 4 mindful breaths. I disrupts the bad habit, one tiny task at a time.
One characteristic of flow is the act of complete concentration on one task.
This can come in many forms and probably why I crave playing cards or board games from time to time. They create a contained task that my mind can concentrate on. No need to think about the ever growing to do list or what I forgot to do or what I need to think about putting on my to do list. Although finding an effortless state and flow are different, it is a good place to start.
More about FLOW
Csikszentmihalyi describes eight characteristics of flow:
- Complete concentration on the task;
- Clarity of goals and reward in mind and immediate feedback;
- Transformation of time (speeding up/slowing down);
- The experience is intrinsically rewarding;
- Effortlessness and ease;
- There is a balance between challenge and skills;
- Actions and awareness are merged, losing self-conscious rumination;
- There is a feeling of control over the task.
Flow state is losing yourself in the moment; when you find your abilities are well matched to an activity, the world around you quietens and you may find yourself achieving things you only dreamt to be possible.
To me that sounds worth the effort and at least one way of approaching 2022; an antidote to some of 2021’s languishing.
100 Days of Creativity
SHOW UP FOR 100 DAYS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
Have you heard of the 100daysproject? There are 2 simple rules;
#1 Repeat a simple creative task everyday for the duration,
#2 Record each day’s efforts.
This is my fourth year doing the hundred days project and each one has taught me so much. I first heard about the 100 days after reading The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna. From a young age, I have always loved doing art and have managed to keep it sacred—something I do for myself. It is for pure pleasure and processing thoughts and feelings.
One day my daughter had a new pal around and she was proudly showing her all of my artwork and her friend thought they were amazing and asked if I was an artist. My daughter looked at me and I didn’t know how to respond. I mulled this over and realised I would like to explore this further and would commit to the 100daysproject to see how I felt after 100 days of creativity about calling myself an artist.
So I began, one pen drawing a day. No pencils, as I wanted to learn that mistakes didn’t matter. It was great, each week brought more confidence and doing it with others really helped me be accountable. It wasn’t linear—there were moments when my confidence dipped and I would want to make excuses to stop. I had to wiggle my way through finding my own practice, not care what other’s thought but also be fuelled by the community and public sharing. Within the small group of 100daysproject through Tribe Porty, we encouraged each other and on the days I didn’t feel like making the effort, I showed up for them. It quickly became something I looked forward doing at the end of the night.
The practice became a meditative ritual and also led me to find the local community in 100 Days Project Scotland.
Now reaching the end of this year, it has been once again, transformational.
Here are some of the first drawings for my first 100 days.
By the end of the 100 days, I called myself an artist. I maintained that art was for myself and no anyone else but the encouragement was also welcomed. it felt good and I was hooked.
Year Two
This time I tightened my brief a bit. Again using pen but stuck to portraits and played more with lines. I really enjoyed the therapeutic benefits of drawing so many lines. By the end of the second 100 days, I was confident enough to do even paint a large mural. Here are some drawings and a picture of part of the mural. One drawing also ended up as a tattoo on my arm.
Year Three
This year was different because I started experimenting with drawing on the ipad, something I never thought I would like but I do and in love with quite quickly.
I set myself a goal to get some printed and even went on to create Capturing Dani a website and shop with prints and postcards. I received commissions and now draw illustrations more than on paper.
2021 has been transformational
This year I decided to combine the creative process with gratitude and would draw a part of my body and give thanks. After almost two years of chronic pain, multiple exploratory procedures and fatigue. Every day has been a surprise- nothing has been planned and I have changed the way I see myself.
Just over halfway through, something changed how I looked at myself. I found a new level of acceptance of the good and of the imperfections. I looked at myself the way I would look at a body in a live drawing class. Admiring the curves and not viewing with critical eyes.
8 more illustrations to go
Embracing Change
An invitation to make the community what you want
We have quite a few new people at Tribe and our first social gathering (outside) this week. And it feels good. But it is different then it used to be so in some ways I feel like we are starting over but I guess that is change. So how do we embrace change that builds resilience? When change makes us better, it’s because we have learned how to turn a challenging situation to our own advantage, not merely because change happens.
BBC’s, The Collection, Why embracing change is the key to a good life, writes;
How we handle change is the essence of our existence and the key to happiness, particularly in our current times of uncertainty. Since humankind has existed, many great artists, writers and philosophers have grappled with the notion of change, and our impulse to resist it. “Something in us wishes to remain a child… to reject everything strange,” wrote the 20th-Century psychologist and author Carl Jung in The Stages of Life. For these thinkers, a refusal to embrace change as a necessary and normal part of life will lead to problems, pain and disappointment. If we accept that everything is constantly changing and fleeting, they say, things run altogether more smoothly.
We all know cognitively that change is nothing new and inevitable. Yet, by nature, change feels unfamiliar so we often try to resist or desperately try and make sense of it. Pain is often the agent of change, which is why we fear it. It is hard to see beyond the pain to the opportunity of anew – but that is the only good choice. The alternative is resisting change, a futile and ultimately more painful option. Not to mention missing all of the opportunities for growth. Change takes practice and the more you accept it, the better you get at it. So in theory, we should all be a bit more practiced right about now.
“All that you touch you Change. All that you Change changes you. The only lasting truth is Change.” – Octavia E Butler
Change can be an engine of progress
Today we had our first social gathering since before the first lockdown. It was so nice. Everyone missed that community feel of our coworking space. In some ways we felt more united, all having experienced our own disconnection and struggles over the past 17 months. I would like to think that a show of solidarity and support in different communities has emerged; perhaps even a broader sense of equality and empathy. Now is the time to reflect and find the opportunities from change. Let’s not go back to being disconnected, isolated and self interested. I am hopeful that we can find a deeper understanding of our humanity, discover new priorities and be driven by our values in order to change and heal. Remember that change isn’t always out with our control.
Focus on your values instead of your fears. Reminding ourselves of what’s important to us — family, friends, great music, creative expression, and so on — can create a surprisingly powerful buffer against unexpected change.
Social lunch helps too.
Take us up on the invitation
If you want to see more or less of something, take action, make the changes you want to see. In our behaviour, we tend to be making an implicit distinction between getting other people to change – and changing ourselves. We often think more about how to change others or complain about others rather than making the changes ourselves. Sometimes because we don’t give ourselves permission and sometimes, well, because it’s easier to point than do the inner work. We might know we may have to develop in certain ways, but for now, our focus is on altering others. However, we miss an important insight: changing how you behave to others can be the fastest way to alter how others behave towards you.
Here is a brilliant video by School of Life which illustrates how and why you should be the change you want to see and how mirroring is the best way to change yourself and others.
Would love to hear your thoughts if you want to share, email me.
Dani Trudeau
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