Be Well & Connect

 

 

Can you feel it? The whisper of a chill upon the breeze, the soft crunch of leaves beneath your feet, the early dimming of the afternoon sky? Autumn is upon us, offering a quiet invitation to slow our pace, to soften into stillness, and to prepare for the ancient turning of the season. 

In this ever-rushing, hyper-digital world, many of us (myself included) have forgotten how to yield to the seasons. How to ease ourselves gently into the deepening days of autumn and the quiet hush of winter. But autumn is a threshold, a passage from the outward to the inward, from doing to being.

This October at Tribe Porty, we invite you to embrace a slower rhythm through Be Well & Connect. A programme for living well. Through gatherings crafted with care and woven with movement, mindfulness, and creativity, we’ll rekindle our connection to self, to community, and to the present moment. 

Be Well & Connect is a space to tend to both body and spirit, to root into shared experience, and to remember what it means to move through the seasons with cultivated softness.

 

The curation of events for Be Well & Connect includes:

Sauna Chats with Kirsty from Soul Water Sauna 

Friday, October 10th, 6pm-7:30 

A relaxed conversation with Kirsty, founder of Soul Water Sauna, and me as we chat about all things sauna culture, community, and the healing power of intentional connection.

This session is open to all.

Mindfulness & Visionboarding 

 Monday, 20th October, 6pm-7:30 pm

A Mindfulness & Vision Boarding session, where we’ll begin with a guided meditation to help you explore what you truly want and where you’re heading as we enter this new season. Using the creative practice of vision boarding, we’ll bring those intentions to life in a visual way, giving you a clear roadmap for the months ahead.

This session is open to all.

Tribe Porty Sea Dip 

Wednesday, October 15th at 5:30 pm

Release the tension of the day and recharge with the healing power of cold water therapy. Join us for an invigorating after-work sea dip at Porty Beach, where the cold waters will help boost circulation, reduce stress, and leave you feeling deeply refreshed. Whether you’re new to cold water therapy or a seasoned pro, this session is a great opportunity to experience the benefits of cold immersion in a supportive community setting. 

This session is for Tribe Porty Members only.

Moment of Stillness Massage with Jo Craven from Portobello Natural Health 

Friday, October 3rd & 31st

Come to stillness for a moment during your workday and soothe your nervous system. This treatment combines amma fusion compression massage of the whole body with head massage, foot massage or both (your choice). Lying down, fully clothed, no oil – pure bliss. 

This session is for Tribe Porty Members only.

Morning Cuppa & Meditation 

Every Friday morning in October from 9:30am

Begin your day with stillness and presence. Each Friday morning our, join us for a gentle guided meditation over a warm cup of tea or coffee. In just 10-15 minutes, we’ll create a space to quiet the mind, reconnect with the body, and set a calm tone for the day ahead. 

This session is for Tribe Porty Members only.

A Gentle Breathing Practice to Soothe 

Box Breathing is a simple and effective breathwork practice that can be done anywhere, at any time. It is used to soothe the nervous system, calm the mind, and ease your natural rhythm of breath. 

Practice Box Breath with me:

Close your eyes or hold a heavy gaze towards the floor, and take a few slow, full, deep breaths.

Inhale through your nose for 4-3-2-1

Hold the breath at the top of your inhale for 4-3-2-1

Release the breath slowly through your nose for 4-3-2-1

Retain (hold the breath) empty at the bottom of your exhale for 4-3-2-1

Repeat 3 times or as many times as you would like.

 

Why cold water swimming?

Cold water swimming might sound a little wild at first, especially somewhere like Scotland, but it’s really a delightful combination of nature, resilience, and pure joy. The icy plunge sends a rush of endorphins and dopamine dancing through your body, leaving you fizzing with a natural high that can rival your morning coffee. Your circulation kicks into overdrive, your immune system gets a playful nudge, and that nagging stress you might be carrying seems to wash away with the ripples of the water.

Beyond the science, though, there’s something wonderfully human about braving the chill with others. From laughter echoing across the loch or sea, friendships and companionship are strengthened by shared squeals and shivers. And let’s not forget the poetry of it: the sting of water against skin, the breathless awe of open skies, the rhythm of waves flowing all around you. Cold water swimming is equal parts challenge and celebration, a chance to remind yourself that you’re alive, tough, and maybe just a little wild yourself.

Want to learn more about the joy of cold water swimming? Check out Edinburgh’s own Anna Deacon & Vicky Allan’s book Taking the Plunge: The Healing Power of Wild Swimming for the Mind, Body & Soul.

 

Podcast Recommendation

‘As the Season Turns’ was created by Ffern and narrated by nature writer Lia Leendertz

One of my absolute favourites that I listen to at the beginning of every month, but I find it even more special to listen to at the turn of the season. A new episode is released on the first of each month and is a guide of what to look out for for the month ahead. Whether it be sounds or sights of nature or important aspects of the lunar cycle, this podcast takes you on a sensorial journey you are bound to enjoy. 

Check out the podcast by clicking here

 

Poem for Contemplation

How I go to the woods

Ordinarily, I go to the woods alone, with not a single
friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore
unsuitable.

I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds
or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my way of
praying, as you no doubt have yours.

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit
on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds,
until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost
unhearable sound of the roses singing.

If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love
you very much.

Mary Oliver 

 

How to get involved

If you are a member of Tribe Porty check your inbox for our latest issue of Inside Tribe. This provides you with all of the booking links and details. Alternatively, nip by reception and ask our team. You can view our public events by clicking here.

You’re warmly welcome to take part in our members-only events by either booking a one-day pass or signing up for a monthly membership during October.

To book a one day pass, click here and complete the booking form. By registering for the relevant day you will be more than welcome to join in with the morning meditation sessions, massages with Portobello Natural Health or sea dip.

If you are only interested in the morning meditation sessions you are more than welcome to book our off peak pass which gives access 9AM-1PM on Friday’s. Click here to book. Spaces are limited so book ahead to avoid disappointment.

Planning to attend more than one Be-Well & Connect session? You may want to consider one of our membership options. You are more than welcome to join us for just the month of October. Click here for more details.

Thank you ever so much for reading,

Sonny

 

 

As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty? Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with all things Tribe.

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Compassionate Neighbours

 

We recently had the pleasure of connecting with Dariusz Wedge. Dariusz helps to coordinate the Compassionate Neighbours Service at St Columba’s Hospice Care in Edinburgh. As well as Compassionate Neighbours, they also run Compassionate Gardeners, where volunteers help with light gardening duties while offering companionship.  Both are community-based services that support people living with a terminal diagnosis. This is done by offering them regular emotional and social support through in person connections with volunteers.

 

Compassionate Neighbours 

Both Tribe and the work Dariusz contributes to at St Columba’s Hospice Care hold the value of community at its core. We both believe passionately that we are all stronger, more resilient and better connected when we come together. Compassionate Neighbours changes lives, yours and the people you connect with.

Becoming a Compassionate Neighbour can be hugely rewarding during which time you can build genuine friendships with local people. The service matches you with socially isolated, lonely and who may have a life limiting condition.

 

Meet Carol and Iain

Carol, a regular visitor to Iain through the Compassionate Neighbours programme, knew how much he missed attending live performances. Since mobility challenges had made concerts and theatre outings difficult, she decided to bring the music to him.

With her characteristic warmth and energy, Carol enlisted her friend, musician Madeleine Sjöstrand, to organise a private concert tailored to Iain’s tastes. The event took place at Portobello and Joppa Church, complete with a specially printed programme in German—reflecting Iain’s fluency in the language. The afternoon was rounded off with coffee and cake, making it a truly memorable experience.

Deeply moved, Iain later wrote about how much the gesture meant to him. He recalled early visits with Carol, where they often discussed their love of music and the arts. Recognising how much he missed live performance, Carol and Madeleine came together to make the impossible possible. You can read more here. 

 

How does it work?

Once you have registered your interest, the team takes the time to match you based on common interests, lifestyles and experiences. Where possible they keep matches in local communities. 

Once you’ve applied, they arrange a very informal interview where you can find out more about the service and they can get to know you better. The onboarding process is straightforward – they ask for two references (these don’t need to be professional/work ones) and they will carry out a PVG (Protection of Vulnerable Adults) Scotland check, the costs of which are covered.

They ask new volunteers to attend two “Shared Learning” sessions (it is called it this because they recognise that everyone brings their own valuable knowledge and life experience):

After training and checks, volunteers are asked to be patient while the right match is found. Sometimes this happens quickly; other times it can take longer. They take into consideration shared interests, values, distance, and any specific requests (such as gender or faith). Sometimes, due to illness, people’s circumstances change before a match can happen, which can add to the wait.

Once matched, visits are usually around one hour a week, either at the person’s home or somewhere outside, depending on preference. Some pairs prefer to meet less often but for longer.

Matches are not time-limited – they last as long as they’re wanted and needed. The first ever match lasted 3 years and 8 months. Unlike many clinical settings where friendships are discouraged, it is actively encouraged if they happen naturally – and they often do, which is wonderful to see.

You can become a compassionate neighbour by committing just one hour of volunteering a week. Alongside the time you spend with your neighbour you will be guided by experts through mentorship and training. As well as connecting with someone in your community, you have the opportunity to meet other Compassionate Neighbours through our regular get-togethers and peer support. You’ll be invited to regular drop-in sessions, hospice training and information sessions and access to counselling and chaplaincy if needed.

Compassionate Gardeners 

Compassionate Gardeners runs alongside the neighbours campaign and seeks folk that can offer both companionship and light gardening duties. The programme seeks folk who can offer a little TLC to the gardens of people living at home with an end-of-life diagnosis and help restore them to what they once were. Sharing the joy of the garden through the seasons, Compassionate gardeners add so much to the wellbeing of the garden owners in the most precious of times.

Here’s what some of our current volunteers have said about their experience:

“I thought the idea was that I would visit and offer some good cheer and conversation each week—but it’s me who leaves on a high every time. It’s a tonic for both of us.”

“As I was leaving, Neville said, ‘what a great morning this has been with you visiting’—and I knew he really meant it.”

 

How to get involved 

The Compassionate Neighbours Team are committed to building strong and resilient communities, where local people feel confident to offer social and emotional support in their communities. This is never more important than during times of isolation, deteriorating health, grief, loss or bereavement. 

You can apply by clicking this link: Compassionate Neighbours Volunteer – St Columba’s Hospice Palliative Care, Edinburgh   or by emailing Dariusz Wedge at DWedge@stcolumbashospice.org.uk or Maggie Young at myoung@stcolumbashospice.org.uk.

 

Join us for Coffee Morning

On Tuesday 2nd September we will be hosting an extra special Coffee Morning to support St Columba’s work and the Compassionate Neighbours programme. Join us for a warm and meaningful coffee morning as we welcome Dariusz Wedge from St Columba’s Hospice Care to Tribe Porty.

Tribe Members can join us between 10-11AM for extra special croissants and sweet treats. We will have QR codes for you to make direct donations to St Columba’s and you will have the opportunity to connect with Dariusz and ask any questions you may have.

We will then open up to the general public between 11AM-12PM where you can drop in to meet Dariusz and find out more about the programme. 

Whether someone has years, months, weeks, or even days left, knowing that someone cares enough to show up can be deeply comforting. And for volunteers, the friendships they form are just as meaningful.

Come along, enjoy a cuppa, meet your fellow Tribe members, and discover how small acts of kindness are helping people live more fully, right up to the end.

 

The Dead Curious Cafe

If reading the above has stirred unfamiliar emotions, fears, or grief, and you feel the need for open conversation, you’re warmly invited to join Loretta Dunn at The Dead Curious Café.

Open conversations around death and dying are often confined to the realms of bad news, frequently in a medical environment, when the conversation becomes unavoidable. There is merit in normalising the subject of death to open up a wider perspective on the important aspects of living our best life. Many people avoid thinking about death, which can create fear and discomfort. Open discussions help normalise death, making it less of a taboo and allowing people to approach it with more acceptance and peace.

This is a safe and nurturing environment, where participation is encouraged, and mutual respect is a given.

Your facilitator is Loretta Dunn, a Life Celebrant and retired nurse, with many years of experience working with bereaved families and people at the end of life.

Click here to find out more. 

Thanks for reading,

Alice

As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty? Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with all things Tribe.

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Honoring Your Boundaries

Hello, Boundaries 

The demands placed on us (by ourselves and others) can feel overwhelming. By not honoring your boundaries, you risk burnout, stress, and the downfall of our own identity.

Whether you’re working from home, juggling responsibilities, or navigating the blurred lines of hybrid work, setting intentional boundaries is essential for your emotional and physical wellbeing.

 

“Setting boundaries with others is key in having a strong relationship with yourself.”
 – Philippa Perry, The Book You want everyone you love to read

Understanding Boundaries

The Cambridge Dictionary defines a boundary as “a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something.” Boundaries can be physical, psychological, or emotional. 

 

“If we don’t know where we begin (physically, psychologically and metaphorically), how can we possibly know how to protect our ‘space’ and avoid unwanted encroachment into our territory?” – Dr Jane Booth

 

But why do we struggle to verbalise our work and personal boundaries, especially when they’re crossed?

Questioning your boundaries 

To honour your boundaries you must first understand what they are. Boundaries are multilayered and often shifting, making it important to regularly reflect on the different types and how well we honor each in our lives. Emotional boundaries involve respecting your own feelings and emotional energy. Such as expressing how you’d like to receive feedback, protecting your energy in emotionally draining situations, and resisting the urge to absorb others’ moods. 

Physical boundaries relate to your personal space, comfort with touch, and physical needs. This might look like preferring a handshake over a hug, skipping social events to recharge, or taking a walk when you need a break. 

Mental boundaries protect your thoughts and focus, and include actions like taking time off to recover, setting away messages during deep work, and avoiding the pressure to over-explain your decisions. 

Finally, time boundaries help you value and protect how your time is spent. By declining unnecessary meetings, sticking to your work hours, and clearly communicating when your capacity has been reached. Understanding and maintaining these boundaries is key to safeguarding your well-being and sustaining healthy relationships.

 

 

Tuning In: A Boundary Check-In

When was the last time you checked in with how you honour your boundaries?

Try this:

Boundaries are flexible. They will look different depending on the relationship, context, or stage of life. What’s non-negotiable today might shift next year, or even next week and that’s okay.

 

Fill in the wheel, which are ranked lowest? Why is this, it could be a specific situation or simply how your energy is presenting at this time. Question what actions you could take to bring the score up. This could be as simple as cancelling a plan to free up some mental space or opening up a conversation with someone you have had a miscommunication or disagreement with.

 

Boundaries as a Form of Care

By understanding and respecting our own boundaries, we create environments where we feel safe, seen and respected. It’s fundamental to check in with this every so often. Our boundaries will change for different people, and they may shift over time based on personal circumstances.

Through open communication with ourselves and identifying where we lack in our own boundaries we can in turn honour our limits. In doing so, you can take better care of the core of your wellbeing and infuse more meaning and authenticity into our work and relationships. 

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges toward healthier and a stronger connection to yourself.

 

Tribe Talks

If you would like to learn more about holding space for yourself and your boundaries our next Tribe Talk is for you. We will be joined by Dr Jane Booth.  Jane has a passion for people and a creatively curious mind. She loves learning, problem solving and supporting her clients with their own development and growth.  Jane can aid in providing the space and time you need to explore solutions and work out the choices ahead of you. Our Tribe Talk will cover the art of creating effective boundaries.

“I fundamentally believe that great people make amazing things happen.  We often lose sight of our potential, however, and this can hold us back from achieving what we really want.  My role is to help you find your path so you can lead yourself, and others, on your chosen journey.”– Dr Jane Booth

 

Thanks for reading,

Alice

 

As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty? Sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date with all things Tribe. 

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Beyond Pride: Spaces at Home and Away

Beyond Pride: Spaces at Home and Away

 

Pride Month is upon us, and I’ve been reflecting. As a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community, I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about the importance of inclusive, positive, and proactive community spaces.

Inclusive Spaces

A couple of weeks ago I went to the launch of Lonely Planet’s new LGBTQ+ Travel Guide. Until recently, if you wanted to know which parts of a city or country were safe, or where you could actually relax and be yourself, you had to rely on word of mouth – tips from friends, stories from the community, or scouring online forums. It always felt like you had to be part detective just to plan a trip. 

So seeing such a major travel brand put out a guide that is packed with practical info and shaped by Queer voices from around the world is huge. What sets this guide apart is each destination is introduced by local LGBTQ+ residents who share personal insights, recommendations for queer-friendly businesses, cultural highlights and must visit spots. It’s not just about where to go, but how to feel safe, seen, and celebrated when you get there. Sitting down with my girlfriend, flipping through these pages and reading about places where our community thrives – it’s a whole new beautiful feeling. 

 

Work & home

And it’s not just about feeling safe when we travel, it’s also about feeling safe on our doorsteps – and that includes at work, and in co-working spaces. When you walk into a workspace you want to know you can bring your whole self to the table without worrying about judgement, discrimination, or having to hide who you are. Safety isn’t just about physical security, it’s about emotional and psychological comfort too. There’s something powerful about being surrounded by people who get it, where you can chat over coffee, lunch, or just get on with work knowing you’re in a space that has your back.

Why does this matter? Because when you feel safe, you’re free to focus on work, be creative and build genuine connections. Studies show that LGBTQ+ safe environments foster a culture where people can embrace their true identities, leading to stronger community bonds, higher job satisfaction and more opportunities for collaboration and growth, unlocking potential. Places that empower LGBTQ+ professionals to thrive, innovate, prioritise inclusivity and safety are vital.

 

Inclusivity in coworking spaces

Coworking spaces, such as our very own Tribe Porty, have the opportunity to not just offer a desk and wifi, but to be real hubs of belonging for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s more than just having flags up in June (although that is lovely!), it’s making sure there are clear policies against discrimination, having gender neutral toilets, hosting LGBTQ+ events, and having staff who genuinely get what inclusion means. Another really important thing is listening to LGBTQ+ members, inviting us into the conversation and being open to change as needs evolve. 

At Tribe Porty, fostering an inclusive and welcoming environment for the LGBTQ+ community starts with small but meaningful actions. Visible signs of support, like Pride flags, and collaborating with Porty Pride, using inclusive language across our platforms, and having gender-neutral facilities help signal that all identities are respected and celebrated here. We are committed to policies that protect against discrimination based on gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation, and we’re intentional about using gender-inclusive language and inviting members to share pronouns if they feel comfortable.

 

Creating Inclusive Culture

Inclusion also means cultivating a community culture where LGBTQ+ members feel seen, valued, and supported. We aim to reflect diverse voices in our events and storytelling year-round, offering space for conversations, creativity, and connection. We’re always listening and learning, welcoming feedback from our community and making space for continuous reflection and growth. Because true inclusivity isn’t a checklist. It’s an ongoing, collective effort rooted in care.

When spaces do that, they become places where we can all show up as ourselves, connect, create and feel right at home. Which ultimately is what community is all about.

 

Soapbox: Story Sessions 

Soapbox and Tribe Porty are delighted to welcome you to another evening of Story Sessions! Join us on June 6th from 6pm for an evening of storytelling—a space to gather, connect, and be inspired by true stories from our community. Story Sessions is all about sharing real experiences: a place where voices are heard and celebrated.

This month, as part of Porty Pride, we’re shining a light on Queer Joy; a celebration of living authentically, loving boldly, and finding happiness in both the everyday and extraordinary moments of queer life. It’s about the moments that make us feel safe, loved, and empowered, and about the community that surrounds us with acceptance and support.

Storytelling is one of the oldest ways we connect as humans. Stories have the power to make us laugh, cry, reflect, and feel less alone. Through sharing and listening, we make sense of the world and discover authentic connection with each other.

Whether you come to share your story or simply to listen, you’ll find a welcoming community ready to embrace and uplift you.

Click here to find out more and book your spot.

 

Summer Party 2025

Join us for a day of creativity, live music, and great food at Tribe Porty!

Mark your calendars for Saturday, 7th June, as Tribe Porty comes alive with a vibrant mix of workshops, live performances, and delicious food. This free, family-friendly event is open to all. This year, Edinburgh Tool Library will be opening the workshop up for a special pride workshop in support of Porty Pride.

During the hands-on workshop you’ll craft your very own pride noise makers. In this 45-minute session, you’ll be invited to create a wooden ratchet noise maker – before painting your creation in brilliant rainbow colours at our decorating station!

Whether you’re a seasoned maker or have never stepped foot in a workshop, this family-friendly activity welcomes everyone to express themselves and join in the Porty Pride celebrations.

Please note: Booking is only required to make a ratchet noise maker. We will be operating a free, drop-in simple bell-and-ribbon wand making session from 10am-2pm which is suitable for all ages, where booking is not required.

Find out more here.

Thanks for reading,

Ellie

 

Thanks for reading. As always we’d love to connect and hear your thoughts. As we look ahead to the next 10 years, we’d love to know: What would you love to see more of in the future of Tribe Porty?

 

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The fundamentals of failing

the fundamentals of failing

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about failing recently and actively seeking to do more of it. You could argue I’m trying to rewire my brain to appreciate the fundamentals of failing. Not to brag, but I have a plethora of things I am good at. I’d say, naturally good at… School was easy, university even easier (I mean it was an art degree.) And there it is, did you notice? Something I’ve also been very, very good at is downplaying my achievements.

​​Failure is emotional but necessary

For me, failure feels gut-wrenching, upsetting, and deeply emotional. I know I don’t take criticism well (sorry, Dani), but I also struggle to fully appreciate my successes. When I accomplish something, my mind often jumps to dismissive thoughts: “Anyone could do that,” or “So-and-so could do it better.” This persistent self-doubt is often called ‘arrival fallacy’, the illusion that reaching a goal will bring lasting satisfaction. Or, even more frustratingly, the dreaded and well known ‘imposter syndrome.’

The reason this has been on my mind recently all started with a 10K trail run. I have enjoyed running now for 4-5 years, it’s something that brings me calmness and joy. It helps me notice the seasons change, be around nature and my thoughts. Despite this, I’ve always had a fear around trail running and something I would blame my body for not being up to.

 

Letting go of external validation

Anyone who sat with me for lunch over the past couple of months at some point will have heard me tell a derisive story about my partner’s parents signing me up for a 10K trail run at Glentress. This particular run covered 300 meters of elevation in the first 5KM, and let me tell you, it was cold at the top. Despite being full of dread masked in my humor and sarcasm, I went along with my only goal being to cross the finish line.

Within the first ten minutes of running, I was quickly at the back of the pack. Clearly, I was surrounded by very serious runners. A man in his 70s jogged alongside me and jeered, “I think we will be seeing a lot of each other.” He wasn’t wrong. I stomped my way up the hill, taking in the views along the way, slowly slid my way across the top avoiding ice patches, and threw snowballs at my friend. On the descent, the sun came out, and it was magic. I looked up at the trees, took in some deep breaths, and quickly made my way to the finish line. I did it, and I came dead last.

 

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, “This is what it is to be happy.” Sylvia Plath

 

Finding joy in the process, not just the outcome

Would I do it again knowing I would come last? Yes! This could be the first time in my life where I was elated to fail. I did not give a rat’s arse about anyone else or their stats. All that mattered was the feelings I had along the way and the fact that I crossed the finish line!

Failure is misunderstood, and we avoid it at all costs. But to achieve and to grow, we must first fail. Our obsession with failure allows our failures to define us and keeps us from trying and from being open to experiences. On the other hand, when we do achieve, it is all too easy to downplay or minimize our accomplishments.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Maya Angelou

To live well, we must remain open, curious, and most importantly, vulnerable.

 

Embracing discomfort and uncertainty

The truth is, failure is only failure if we allow it to be. What if we reframe it as learning, as progress, as proof that we are stretching ourselves beyond the confines of comfort? What if we measured our successes not by external validation but by our own growth, by how much we dared to show up even when we weren’t sure of the outcome?

That trail run wasn’t about time or placement, it was about pushing myself to go that bit further, about showing up even when I was certain I’d struggle. And in that struggle,I found joy in simply being in motion.

So maybe failure isn’t the thing to avoid, it’s the thing to chase. The more we appreciate the fundamentals of failing, the more we grow, the more we truly live. And that, to me, feels like the greatest success of all.

 

“Show me a man who has never made a mistake, and I will show you one who has never tried anything.” Albert Einstein

Thanks for reading,

Alice

 

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Holding Space

Meet Loretta

We wanted to take this month’s blog as an opportunity to introduce you to Life Celebrant, Death Doula and friend of Tribe, Loretta Dunn. Loretta has a special interest in living well and dying well. Her journey so far has included a long career in nursing and midwifery, she is a member of The Institute for the Study of Birth, Breath and Death, and an EASE Facilitator (end of life aid skills for everyone) with the Scottish Partnership for Palliative Care. She is passionate about bringing death out of the shadows as a means of helping us to live our best life in the present moment.

Compassion and love are at the heart of her work. Loretta recently reached out to us to express her interest in running The Death Curious Cafe at Tribe Porty. Simply put, this gathering is an open invitation to gather and discuss mortality in a supportive and progressive way. 

 

What is a Death Cafe?

Death Cafes first launched in Switzerland in 2004 and have since spread around the world. This has been encouraged through a growing number of folks moving towards death positivity and away from death denial. The key of this is that through understanding and welcoming our own mortality we improve the quality of our lives. As a society, it is more valuable than ever to hold space for conversations about death. A survey by the charity Dying Matters reveals that more than 70 per cent of us are uncomfortable talking about death and that less than a third of us have spoken to family members about end-of-life wishes.

 

Holding Space

In the UK, the topic of death is avoided due to a combination of cultural, psychological, and social factors. Many of us not only fear death itself but the potential pain, loss of control, and uncertainty it brings. Psychologically, people often engage in death denial to shield themselves from these anxieties. 

In the book, Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief, the authors and researchers challenge traditional views on grief which emphasise the need for detachment. The authors argue that grief is not about “letting go”. Rather it is about finding a new way to incorporate the presence of the deceased into one’s life. This could be in the form of personal rituals, keeping mementos and maintaining an inner dialogue with the loved one. 

You can see this approach manifest itself through modern technology with the keeping of ‘memorial profiles’. Continuing bonds and having open dialogue around death has become an essential part of death doulas work and perhaps an important key to reopening the conversation around death and grief. 

 

“The goal of grief is not to sever bonds, but to reweave them into the fabric of life.”-Continuing Bonds

 

The importance of community

There are many cultures that have religious or spiritual rituals that provide the building blocks for both accepting and preparing for death. In the past, even in the UK, death was a communal experience with both community members and family taking an active role in end-of-life care and rituals. Philosophical traditions, such as Stoicism or Buddhism, death is seen as an inevitable part of life, and whether it happens early or late is simply a fact of existence, not necessarily a matter of fairness.

Due to the breakdown of close-knit community structures and families often living far apart, death has been removed from everyday life and conversation. Thus encouraging an environment where it is easier to avoid and therefore removing any sentiment of acceptance or feelings of fairness.

Advances in medical technology have also shifted the perception of death to be something that can and should be delayed. In the UK the percentage of people who died in hospital in 2022 was 43.4%. Arguably this contributes to the notion that death is something to be resisted or “fixed,” rather than embraced as a natural end. 

Of course the practice of guidance is not new and death is not an unknown phenomenon. A certified end-of-life doula, Christy Marek suggests that the lack of community ties in today’s society has led to the lack of conversations around death and resulted in the overwhelming need to contract a trained professional.

 

“In America, a few generations ago, our communities were doing this work,” she said. “The reason the role is showing up in a formalised way now is that we don’t have those community ties any more, not in the same way, and certainly not the same level of responsibility to each other as used to be woven into our communities.”- Christy Marek

 

The place of a Doula

Doulas help to relive these challenges and open up the conversation in a relaxed and informal way. Something we must also consider is that death denial is the overwhelming norm, our individual wishes for end of life care are not considered until late on. The result is that people struggle to have their wishes fulfilled. 

All of the above contributes to a whole host of anxieties, the biggest problem being that we will never achieve a “good death”, one that aligns with our own values, desires and needs. This is a big conversation and one that cannot be fixed into one blog post, but we can certainly hold the space for it.  When we are willing to take responsibility for our life, we can make peace with death. 

 

An invitation to hold space

Join Loretta for our first Death Cafe on 24/10/24, she will also be joining us at Tribe for Social Lunch on 03/10/24. This will be a safe environment for sharing and exploring a deeper understanding of spiritual wellbeing for living well to die well over tea, coffee and cake. This is a pay-what-you-can event with a £5 suggested donation. Click here to find out more and book your space.

 

“Love has triumphed from the enfoldment of my inner circle—my closest friends and family. Engaging in open conversations about life and death has woven tighter bonds among us. Death, a shared human experience often wrapped in silence, has become a pivotal topic of our discussions. Through this, I’ve gained invaluable insights about the inevitable but more so about how to live.”-Dani Trudeau on conversations about death

 

Thanks for reading,

Alice

 

Read more: Exploring the evolution of grief & Living longer

 

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An invitation to gather

An invitation to gather

SHARE

Our ability to tell stories is a uniquely human trait and has always been present in humanity, from cave paintings to podcasts. It is one of the oldest forms of communication and has been used to teach, entertain and influence people for centuries. Sharing stories has always had connection at its core with the unique power to inspire and influence our emotions. 

In the modern world storytelling has perhaps lost one of its superpowers which is to gather us, together, in person. Storytelling in Marrakech has rich and ancient roots, there is an old saying, “when a storyteller dies, the library burns”. The stories told in Marrakech only exist in the minds of their narrators who share them at gatherings and take their repertoire to the grave. I keep thinking back to this phrase, it has such depth and meaning but also captures the missing piece to the modern storytelling puzzle.

 

HUNGER

Stories are used to share our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Ultimately, we make sense of the world through the receiving and giving of stories. However, due to modern technology and the rise of social media apps we are now swamped with stories. At their core, this particular type of story strives to sell you another product, desire or lifestyle. We are in the breadth of an era of quick content, another flash of a story with each swipe. Nothing nourishing, just time spent. The outcome of this is that we are both desensitized and bored. Not only have we become over informed but the substance is missing. 

We’re all hungry for authentic connection. 

 

GATHER

Most of the stories we consume in the modern day are recorded and can be listened to anytime, anywhere. They are often rehearsed and edited, this removes the reason or necessity to gather. A story told in person is in itself alive. The story will change from one telling to the next depending on the presence and mood of the storyteller.

“The presence of teller and audience, and the immediacy of the moment, are not fully captured by any form of technology”-Joseph Bruchac

We have had the pleasure of hosting poetry evenings here at Tribe. I am always struck by the mood and presence of the room. How the shared feeling and tension can quickly shift from laughter, to sorrow, to joy and hope. There is a direct and respectful spotlight on the reader with no distractions. There’s no elaborate scenery or props, just a room of like minded people. What we are left with is a collective experience. An experience that cannot be replicated or shared outside of the space. Telling stories leaves the audience with the gift of an empathetic and shared emotional response. The teller and the listener share and experience emotion in real time, a give and take of energy.

Sacred spaces for telling stories in person are rare and more important than ever. Live storytelling gives you the power to cut through the noise and make meaningful connections to both inspire and influence. Let’s slow down. Take some time to sit with us and share stories. 

“We tell stories because we are human. But we are also made more human because we tell stories”. –Amanda Gormon

 

The invitation

Tribe Porty is collaborating with Soapbox to bring you an evening of storytelling. The first of these evenings is in partnership with Porty Pride with the theme of love. Join us at Tribe Porty on June 28th to gather, be inspired, to be heard, to tell (and to listen) to stories. 

You can find out more and book your space by clicking here. Tickets will be pay what you can with proceeds going to Porty Pride. 

If you’re interested in telling and sharing a story, or know someone who might be, please email soapboxforcreatives@gmail.com with the title ‘The Story Sessions’.

 

Thanks for reading,

Alice

 

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Hitting Pause on Christmas

Christmas is a time where life becomes intensified, days are shorter, money is tighter and you have social gatherings galore. As Christmas draws closer, the need for a pause button grows. 

 

As a fan of Christmas, there are times that it even makes me want to bury my head in the snow (Christmas joke). It can be a difficult time to adjust expectations as we fall into the usual routine of overindulging in every aspect of life. I often reminisce on that weird covid Christmas where we had to remain within our own households. I remember initially feeling sad, like something had been taken away. On reflection, it was probably one of my favourites. Yes, I missed my family but it was lovely to spend the day in my own home, possibly the most relaxed Christmas of them all. Yet, every Christmas since then the intensity comes back in full swing.

It’s not all bad, who doesn’t love the lights, spending time with loved ones and eating your favourite Christmas foods. It’s also a time to reflect and give thanks, especially as the year draws to a close. Team Tribe had an evening of wreath making with artist Jana Middleton at Dook Soap for our Christmas do this year. At the start of the evening, host Jana asked us all to close our eyes and think of a colour that comes to mind when thinking of Christmas. Orange, red, green and white all came up. She also asked us to think of smells that we attach to Christmas, pine, mulled wine, spices and homebaking were mentioned. Lastly, she asked us to close our eyes and write down words or a sentence that come to mind when we think of Christmas. The feedback felt warm and cosy, like a Christmas hug. 

Earlier that day, I had been constructing this blog post. A helpful guide to make the most of Christmas and enjoy the festivities. I came away from the wreath making evening feeling extremely mellow and calm about Christmas. I felt like that simple exercise served as an important reminder as to what is and what makes Christmas. It’s a lot simpler than the panic, gift buying hussle that we find ourselves wrapped in. Christmas isn’t always an easy time of year and it is all too easy to forget that you do in fact have control. As a team, we have gathered some thoughts around Christmas and how to thrive and enjoy this period rather than survive. 

 

Wreath Exercise

Close your eyes and think about the following questions, write these down on a piece of paper. Use this as a guiding force over the Christmas period, these are arguably what you love the most over Christmas and the easiest to forget:

 

Catch some Sun

Christmas is in itself tied up in the winter Solstice. The winter solstice marks a crucial turning point in the year as the sun is at its weakest point. This is a point throughout history where people would hold fests and gather at monuments. It is a time to remember that winter is not forever. 

It is widely known that the sun benefits our body in numerous ways and keeps our circadian rhythms in sync. Being in the sun can tweak our immune and cardiovascular systems as well as causing our blood vessels to relax and widen. When we feel the sun on our skin, we release endorphins which can boost our alertness and energy levels.

Over the winter months, it is so important for us to harness this energy. Next time there’s a cold bright morning or the afternoon sun is peeking through some clouds, try to get outside. The sun being out also makes an excellent motivator to get your family outside over the Christmas period. Here’s a great read on the power of the sun.

 

Take a break!

The busier you are, the greater benefit there is to taking some time alone and finding that pause button. It can take a bit of confidence but take a break when you need to. A 15 minute brain reset in solitude can make a world of difference to both your mood and energy level. Studies show that alone time can increase happiness, better life satisfaction, and improve stress management.

 

Practice Mindfulness

It may not be your top priority over Christmas but daily mindfulness is important at any time of your life. Through mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, breathing exercise and yoga you can become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This gives you time to both process and manage them rather than becoming overwhelmed. Click here for some easy and quick breathing exercises.

 

Take stock and look to the year ahead

The end of the year is a very natural time to take a moment of reflection. We should all lean into this urge to celebrate our achievements and note our successes. It’s important to refrain from a critical mindset and instead hone in on what has brought you joy this year.

If you are new to this, we’ve gotchu. Keystone have a free online course to help you on your way. This will help you designate the time to reflect, check in and gather yourself for what’s next.

 

Relax and say no.

Ya know you can do that at Christmas right?? Check in with yourself and make the time to chill out and do the things that you like to do. It’s also okay to miss out on things and to say no when your cup is already full.

 

Shop small, gift small. 

The biggest overwhelm and stress can stem from gift giving. It’s always important to reframe what and why you are buying a gift. Especially when you consider that 80% of returned gifts end up in landfill and this year alone 3,088,345 bad Christmas gifts were thrown away. Before buying something, consider the journey this gift will take and what its lifetime value is. Sentiment and gesture is always far more powerful than cost and volume. 

 

Considering all things, seek and stay true to the things that you love about Christmas. Here are some words from Nick Cave on the power of small actions:

 

“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous.

Remember that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions by their nature burst the seams of our intent and spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything.

Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”- Nick Cave

 

As always, thanks for reading. You can read all of our previous blogs by clicking here. Make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletters by filling out the form below:

 

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Working For Progress

We recently took the time to record a season wrap up episode of our podcast, Working For Progress.

 

Reflecting on Working For Progress

Working For Progress was launched with the intention of clebrating our communities and sharing their individual journeys. We are lucky to have a community of creative people, all doing interesting work and who are also interested in the bigger picture. Their health, their communities, their impact on the world. It is important for us to connect through conversations about how we craft our working life and make progress. Each episode sees us ask our communities questions about their working life, the challenges they’ve faced and the progress they’ve made.

It was funny to think back to the initial awkward fears that producing and recording a podcast brings. We are forever grateful to our pals over at Glocast for allowing us to record our trailer episode with them. Perhaps without this as a date in the diary to record we would not now be reflecting on our eleven published episodes! 

We spoke at length about what stood out to us in season one and we really wanted to thank our guests for their honesty and vulnerability. Even recording a conversation with people that you know in a place that you are familiar with can bring nerves. Not to mention that using a mic can initially feel very intimidating. It has been a joy to listen to the intricacies of people’s journeys and without creating the space to reflect there’s so much we may have never known! The podcast has made both myself and Dani feel ever more connected to you all. Taking the time to interview each person has served as a valuable reminder of how important connection and conversation is. 

 

Dani reflects: “Each person brought their unique story to the conversation, a bit of where they have come from in terms of significant life moments which have impacted on what they are doing today. Thinking back, it was often a person or an interaction which profoundly impacted a decision or direction. Sometimes only with hindsight do you notice such influences.”

 

Working at the speed of trust

We also spoke about what we wanted out of the podcast. I really wanted to showcase all of the possibilities your working life can bring and highlight the turning points in people’s career journeys. For myself, I am very early doors. I have spent most of my working life in hospitality. I adore the world of hospitality but always desired something more stable without losing what I value. Before Tribe, I remember having this weird sensation that I was failing or doing things wrong and that I simply wanted more out of my working life. 

Coming to Tribe gave me the term value based work. It’s a privilege to work alongside so many people where value is at the heart of their working lives. At points in my own journey, value based work felt out of reach and at times it just felt like ‘a nice idea’. I wanted this podcast to highlight how many different avenues and directions life could take you. Career journeys are not always a linear path like you are told at school. For me, each episode really encapsulates this as each guest highlighted the journey and risks that they have taken themselves.

It was interesting to note how the support of communities and the right people at the right time came up alot in each person’s journey. Alongside this came trust and putting yourself in the relationship of trust to find trust. These seem to be vital ingredients in both navigating working lives and in taking risks. Here’s what Nasim Forootan said about the importance of trust: 

 

“It’s okay to trust and to open yourself up and be vulnerable sometimes with how you are feeling and what you’re seeing. Sometimes you need to have difficult conversations to explore the nuisance of things. Have faith that things will come out right. If you go into a situation with doubt, you won’t let yourself explore the relationship that could be. Trust is a really strong value for me. Trust is embedded in everything I do. When we work in organizations or when we look at community spaces and governments, it’s one element that is constantly broken. If we had a tiny bit more trust in each other the world would be a better place”-Nasim Forootan

 

The importance of community

Trust and honesty certainly became an overarching theme, both in trusting in yourself and the people around you. This is why coworking is so incredibly important. It’s not often in life you get to choose the people around you and people are such a strong and beautiful part of Tribe. Tribe is not just a desk to work from, it is the people that you’re sitting next to, have lunch with and stop for a tea break and a chat with. Coworking perfectly encapsulates the human need and want for both community and connection. 

During our chat, Dani reflected: “Think of Brene Brown’s saying, ‘It’s hard to hate people when you see them up close and know their story’,  it’s true. Bear with me, I am so far from hating anyone, especially this crew. But in a similar vein, the care and love I now have for each guest has expanded. To know them a bit more, to be trusted enough that they share themselves with us (and everyone who listens) is not taken lightly. We could easily brush it off, quite normal to be on a podcast and chat about your working life. But when people share their values, why they do what they do, what brings them a sense of belonging and awe, it connects us in generative ways.”

Bob Cummins of SODAK amply said during his interview that “Emotional safety is formed with people. If you’ve got others you can take the journey with, it makes risks easier”.  We hope that in listening to each of these stories you may find more confidence in navigating your own journey and not to feel scared of taking the necessary risks. Founder of Good Life School, Lorna Lythgoe spoke of this in such a beautiful way whilst reflecting on her on career journey :

 

“I felt like I had leapt off a cliff, I was falling and would occasionally land on a shelf. It was painful and scary and uncomfortable, which sounds like I’m saying don’t do it. In retrospect, now I know that was the growth and the career path, I started to gleefully leap off as I understood It wasn’t an abyss”- Lorna Lythgoe 

 

Keep working for progress

Most of all, our podcast makes us feel so very grateful for the communities of Tribe Porty and Keystone. We are so lucky to meet so many incredible people through these communities. It is an honour to share your stories. We want to keep showcasing you as the brilliant, incredible and completely normal people that you are. People who are real and care deeply about others and this planet. We hope that our little podcast helps you to stay surrounded by good people, keep true to your values and to keep working for progress. (Too cringe? Nah, we love it!). You can listen to all of our episodes, including our season wrap up by clicking here. Fancy joining myself and Dani in an episode? Drop us a line at: more@tribeporty.org


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Controlling Distractions

How distracted are you by your phone and is it worth your time?

 

A frequent conversation around the coworking table is the nuisance and distraction that technology, phones and social media brings. This stems from doom scrolling, to issues spurred on from social media and questions on how to ‘correctly’ parent technology. It’s a big multilayered problem and it seems the thread of desire is to find a way to detach. We want to remove ourselves from passive connection and stop being distracted by our phones.

Why have phones become such a distraction?

When we use our phones we are selling only our time, it’s often the moments where we want the time to pass that we fall into the trap. We are always wanting to be busy, we always want to be consuming, maybe it’s time to step back and let yourself be bored. Let yourself day dream and be alone with your thoughts. 

 

“Solitude Deprivation. A state in which you spend close to zero time alone with your own thoughts and free from input from other minds.”― Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World

 

So what are the real problems we cause ourselves when we take to our phones for light entertainment or to pass some time? A study in 2007 by Dr Martin Hilbert and Dr Priscila Lopez found that the average person is drowned in 174 newspapers worth of information everyday, across TV, radio and reading. It’s easy to assume that this figure is even greater today. When you consider how much information we receive everytime we pick up our phones you soon realise why it’s so easy to be overwhelmed by the doom and gloom in the world. Or more likely, you feel yourself becoming ever more detached and unresponsive. We have no time to form any true compassion or understanding as we are always onto the next big news story. 

Time to break from the distraction?

Gloria Mark, a professor of informatics, found that on average an adult working in an office stays on a singular task for no more than three minutes before switching tasks. We are tricked into thinking that we are great multitaskers, we are not- we are however very good at getting distracted and losing focus. Mark argues that especially during computer based work, instead of seeing a new tab, email reply or doom scroll as adding a new task, see it as adding a new distraction. This sounds easy but we have already programmed our brains to shift focus constantly, this is why we always are reaching for our phones. 

After 14 years, I deleted my Twitter account and removed the app from my phone. This was spurred on by the change to X, in a weird way the visual change prompted discomfort but also made it easier to delete and let go, so thanks for that Elon! Since then, I notice myself whilst routinely checking Facebook and Instagram my thumb automatically going to tap the Twitter app. My brain is fully in a trance, it’s terrifying! Another thing I noticed, whenever I think of something funny my brain frames the thought as a tweet. It’s like an ingrained desire and need to tweet it, again…terrifying! 

Make it worth your time

I feel like I do not need to delve into the problems around phones too much as we all experience it daily. I did consider counting how many times I picked up my phone whilst writing this piece but I feared it would be too shameful of a number. However, I do not believe that a complete detox, hiatus or banishment is the answer. Nor is blaming or shaming ourselves. I think it’s more important to consider the good things phones and tech can bring to our lives. Think of how much time has been saved through emails, online banking, google and life admin. We just need to be more aware and purposeful of how we use this tech. 

For me, it’s the small impromptu moments of time where picking up my phone is becoming a problem. The automatic reflex to have a quick look always turns into at least ten minutes of scrolling. It is entirely passive consumption and is the definition of needless. I’m really good at misplacing my phone, something I’m weirdly proud of. It means that it’s not constantly on my mind or in my hand. Now when I lose track of it, instead of hunting it down straight away I purposefully question why I need to find it? What do I need it for? Unless the reason is valid, like calling my nan or if there’s a fire that needs tending to, I do not bother looking for it.

Find the balance

 

‘You want to read a book, but you are pulled away by the pings and paranoia of social media. You want to spend a few uninterrupted hours with your child, but you keep anxiously checking your work email. You want to set up a business, but your life dissolves into a blur of facebook posts that only make you feel envious and anxious. Through no fault of your own, there never seems to be enough stillness.’-Johann Hari, Stolen Focus

 

By detaching from our phones, time alone can become more nourishing, remove the need to compare and focus solely on ourselves. Instead of taking to social media for a ‘break’ try out some meditation, a little day dream, a quick stretch or a wee stroll around. Maybe what you’re craving is in fact a quick brain reset! Choose to feast on your own life, instead of small snippets of others. Rember, tech is designed to be addictive but we can choose to have a more purposeful relationship with it.

 

HERE ARE OUR COWORKERS THOUGHTS, TIPS AND TRICKS! 

 

Don’t forget, habit is key and habits are harder to break than they are to form.

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Thanks for reading,

 Alice.

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